


Fair Trade

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: A Thousand Ways [17]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Feels, Love Confessions, M/M, Missing Scene, These two need therapy so bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 18:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16164413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: Steve knows he's expendable. Danny, however, is not. (Post-ep for 9X01)





	Fair Trade

Danny was still upset.

That fact bothered Steve a hell of a lot more than the supposed brainwashing tank did, and was the real reason he let Danny drag a paramedic out to the docks to have a look at him. He'd dealt with sensory dep torture before, both in and out of the water, and the hallucinations had been no worse than the nightmares he sometimes still had all on his own. It was nothing he hadn't dealt with before.

But Danny had hovered through the whole examination, expression tight with worry and almost completely silent. Danny not talking was never a good sign.

Even the EMT declaring that Steve was fine enough to go home didn't seem to be enough to comfort Danny. Instead he shoved the duffel Steve kept in the car into his arms, muttered something that sounded like "Take that damn thing off before I light it _and_ you on fire," and stalked off towards the water.

Steve watched him go, hating how upset Danny was but not knowing how to fix it. He'd meant it when he said that no brain-scrubbing technique would be enough to make him forget Danny. Actual _amnesia_ wouldn't be enough to make him forget Danny, not down deep where it mattered. Danny Williams was written into his bones, no matter how little Danny himself seemed to believe that.

As Danny disappeared, Lou came up to stand next to him. "Be nice to your boy," he said quietly, his own gaze also in the direction Danny had gone. "Not to make light of everything you just went through, but you're not the only one who spent the last few hours getting tortured."

Steve jerked around to look at him, the implication of Danny and torture anywhere near each other pressing hard on his internal panic button. "What happened?"

Lou's "You've got to be kidding me" look was eloquent in its silence. "He had to sit outside a ship where you were getting tortured, for _hours_ , without doing a damn thing about it." Lou's voice was as dry as an Afghanistan desert. "Because you, the person who chose to get tortured, told him that was the plan."

Steve's chest tightened. He knew why Danny worried about him – Danny worried about everyone he cared about, his heart so big that it wanted to throw itself between them and every negative thing in the world. But this... this was Steve's job, throwing himself into danger so no one else had to. So no one else got hurt. That's what he was there for.

Everyone else seemed to understand that. But Danny... Danny had always been different. "I've gone through worse."

Lou raised an eyebrow at him. "Word of advice? Don't mention that to Danny right now." At the confused look on Steve's face, Lou sighed. "Look, I'm saying this for your sake as much as I am his. You push him at all right now, and next time he's gonna insist the two of you switch places."

Everything inside Steve rebelled at the thought. There was no plan, anywhere, that was worth putting Danny in the kind of situation Steve just went through. "Absolutely not. I'm not risking him like that."

Lou sent him another "You've got to be kidding me" look, then when Steve didn't respond sent his eyes heavenward. "Anyone who enjoys tragic romances is a dumbass," he muttered to himself, then wandered off in the opposite direction.

Wanting to escape the thought, Steve climbed in the car and started the process of getting changed.

000

Danny still stayed dangerously tense and silent on the drive back to the Palace, eyes fixed on the road. Steve's eyes stayed fixed on Danny, reminding himself that anything he said would probably only make the situation worse. Danny had made it pretty clear that nothing Steve could say would fix this.

The problem was, Steve couldn't take the silence anymore. "I'm sorry, Danny," he said quietly, voice rough. "Really."

Even in the dark, Steve could see his hands tighten on the wheel. "Out of curiosity, what exactly is it that you're sorry for?" Every word was tight with tension. "Being a dick to me when I was worried that there were some lingering effects from the _torture_ you volunteered for, or _volunteering for the fucking torture in the first place_?"

The rawness in Danny's voice hurt a hell of a lot more than the tank had. "It's my job, Danny."

" _No_." His voice was sharp and absolute as a knife. "Your job is exactly the same damn thing my job is. We protect people, and we catch bad guys. And we are perfectly capable of doing both without coming up with _stupid ass_ plans that depend entirely on _you being tortured_!"

Steve's hand flexed, fighting the urge to reach out for Danny. "The more danger I'm in, the less danger everyone else has to be in." He knew there had to be a better way to explain, but he'd never had to try before this. Everyone else just accepted it as one of the basic facts of the universe. "It's a fair trade."

Danny muttered something, the bitterness far more distinguishable than the actual words, but when Steve drew in a breath to try again Danny cut him off. "You know what? You're right. One person throwing themselves into danger so that everyone else can stand aside looking like useless assholes is a _fantastic_ trade."

Steve's entire body tensed. The reckless edge in Danny's voice was even more dangerous than the silence. "Danny...."

He went on as if Steve hadn't spoken. "Thing is, if it's a fair trade for you, it's a fair trade for all of us. We should _all_ get the chance to throw ourselves in front of the metaphorical sword just like you do." Danny's hands tightened on the steering wheel, the words somewhere between a challenge and a threat. "Next time you come up with a plan this fucking stupid, _I'll_ be the one doing the crazy dangerous shit while you sit outside on your ass trying not to break your fist punching some random hunk of metal. Then after that we can–"

" _No_." Steve wasn't at all surprised by desperation in his own voice. "Not you."

"Why not me?" Danny shot back, eyes still on the road as Steve felt the car pick up speed. "I'm not a SEAL, so I'm somehow not qualified to do all the crazy shit you do?"

"No! That's not–" Steve closed his eyes a moment, fighting for the words he needed to explain. "You're so much more important than I am."

Danny glanced over at him, incredulous, then skidded the car over to a shoulder and shut it off. "Okay." Danny's voice was rough as he turned to Steve. "Explain."

Steve swallowed. "I just did."

"You maybe _think_ you did, but that's only because you're an absolute lunatic." His eyes were a little wild. "I need a _hell_ of a lot more explanation for the words that just came out of your mouth."

Steve looked down at his hands, not wanting to see Danny's expression change when he realized there _was_ no secret explanation. It was just the truth, a far more selfish one than he ever wanted to admit to. "If I died, you'd be okay."

"Damn it, Steve." Oh, the betrayal in his voice. "That's not–"

Steve closed his eyes again. "I'm not saying you don't love me, Danny. I've never doubted for a second that you do." He let out a shaky breath. "I know you'd grieve for me. I know the kids would. But you all have other people you love, and your hearts are all so big I know you'll find more. You'd heal. You'd move on."

There was only silence from Danny's side of the car. Steve gripped his own legs too tightly, trying to breathe past the scraped-open feeling in his chest. "But if you died..." His voice failed him briefly, even the thought enough to open a black hole inside him. "I'd stay alive for the kids, I swear it. I'd hold on as long as they needed me to." He forced himself to inhale. "But everything else...."

...would be gone, because Danny would be. He'd spent most of his life alone, but a life that Danny had been yanked out of would be nothing more than scattered wreckage.

There was still only silence from Danny. Steve opened his eyes, feeling far more stripped bare than the tank had managed. "Listen, I know that–"

"You son of a bitch." Danny's voice was raw again, almost trembling, but it was the sheer _love_ radiating out of every word that had Steve jerking around to stare at him. That same love was shining out of his eyes, enough to make Steve's heart stop completely. "You stupid, stupid, son of a bitch."

Then he dragged Steve forward into a soul- searing kiss, half-climbing over the console in the process. Steve did the same, drinking Danny in like a man who'd just found water in the desert. Every corner of his soul was flooded, lost in Danny deeply enough that he'd never find his way back out.

When they broke apart, Danny pressed his forehead against Steve's. "There is _no one_ on this entire fucking _planet_ I love the way I love you," he rasped. "If you died, the kids would be the only thing keeping _me_ going, too."

"I'm sorry." He cradled Danny's face like the precious thing that it was. "I didn't know. I'll be more careful now, I swear it."

No one got to hurt Danny. Not even him.

Danny clutched at him. "So you're not enough of a reason to keep yourself safe, but somehow I am," he breathed, denying Steve the chance to answer when he stole a kiss that stretched out and lingered. "You know you're a lunatic, right?"

Steve stole his own kiss. "Your lunatic."

"You're damn right." Danny finally made himself pull away, starting the car. "So I'm taking you home, not to HQ." He wrapped a hand around Steve's, holding on tight as he pulled back onto the road. "In the morning we can discuss whether or not I'm ever going to let you leave."

Steve held onto Danny's hand just as tightly. "I'm not going anywhere."

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my [original fiction,](https://jennifferwardell.wixsite.com/mybooks) my [blog,](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


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